Does he like me or just friends

There are various clear signs that tell you if your guy friend wants to become your boyfriend, even if he’s trying to hide it. 

Does he like me more than a friend? 15 sneaky signs he has the hots for you! 

1) He almost always gets in touch with you first

Pay attention to who contacts who first. 

If you seem to always be the one who gets in touch with your guy friend first then you can be pretty confident he’s either very shy or only interested in you as a friend. 

On the other hand, if your guy friend is the one reaching out to you first in most cases, then he could well have a more-than-friend interest in you. 

This sign isn’t always enough to know for sure, he could just be a really good friend. 

But if he’s usually a bit more reserved but with you, he’s chatting you up and inviting you all over on a regular basis then you should consider the possibility he’s got romantic feelings for you. 

Remember that actions speak louder than words when it comes to romance. 

“Men show who they are and what they want with actions, not words. 

“If he has you in the friend zone, he might stay in touch and hang out with you, but he isn’t going to be the one initiating all the contact and get-togethers, and he won’t be doing it consistently,” writes Avery Lynn. 

2) He’s touchy-feely in a more-than-friends way

Some friends are more handsy than others. Also, friendship customs vary a lot by culture. 

I remember my first introduction to Middle Eastern culture and being surprised by men with their arms around each other and stroking each other’s hair and so on. 

When I asked if they were gay couples my taxi driver laughed and explained that in their culture it’s normal for platonic friends of the same sex to behave in physically affectionate ways in public. 

But that’s a bit different when it comes to you and your guy friend. 

If he consistently tries to get close to you and his touches have a bit more of a flirtatious energy and intention than a friendly energy, then you can be quite sure he may have feelings for you. 

If he’s not attracted to you he wouldn’t be letting his hand linger on the small of your back after hugging goodbye. 

If he wasn’t into you he probably wouldn’t slowly stroke your arm when you’re watching a movie together. 

Pay attention to these small but significant details. 

3) He jumps to message you whenever you’re online

It’s perfectly normal for friends to want to chat with each other when they’re around. 

But one of the top signs he likes you as more than a friend is that he basically seems to be desperate to message and talk to you all the time. 

This is the behavior of someone with romantic feelings, not a pal who just wants to say hi. 

The best way to tell the difference between a communicative friend and a guy who’s got the hots for you is to look at his pattern of messaging and social media behavior. 

Does he occasionally send a message first saying hi? No big deal…

But if he jumps to say hi and ask you to do things and check what you’re up to whenever your dot is glowing green then there’s likely some romantic feelings involved. 

Dating expert Nick Bastion explains it well:

“A huge sign that a guy really likes you is if he’s always messaging you on social media – especially if he’s usually messaging you right when you come online. 

“That means that he’s watching (subconsciously or not) for when you come online, and sending you a message as soon as you do.”

If you’re in doubt about this, think of yourself in similar situations when you were into someone. Is your friend behaving similarly to this or is it more low-key? 

This can tell you a lot. 

4) He’s your biggest fan

Does he like me more than a friend? Ask yourself how he treats you in your daily interactions. 

One of the top signs he has the hots for you is that he’s your biggest cheerleader. 

He always sees your best side and sticks by you. 

He encourages you during tough times and understands your challenges and triumphs in life. 

If there’s one underappreciated emotion that’s closely linked to romance and love, it’s admiration. 

When you have feelings for someone, you notice all the parts of their personality and actions that are admirable and amazing. 

You tell others about it and see them in a kind of golden light. 

Whether or not it’s accurate, this guy sees you as a superstar who basically can do no wrong. 

If he’s even more of a fan of you than you are of yourself, then you can be quite sure he likely has some romantic feelings for you. 

5) He’s super curious to know all about you

When we have feelings for someone, everything they say and do is of enormous interest to us. Their background and childhood and everything about their life is like when you were growing up and learned about your favorite sports star or celebrity. 

You’re simply obsessed. 

It’s the same about your guy friend. 

If he thinks of you as more than a friend then it’s going to be apparent in the kind of questions he asks you. 

He’ll be very curious about what made you the person you are today. 

But you’ll also notice him shrink back a bit and become quieter if and when you talk about past relationships and guys. 

That’s because he has feelings for you…

As Lachlan Brown puts it:

“He is always asking you about yourself, your life before you met each other, and what your hopes and dreams are for the future. 

“He could sit and listen to you talk at length about something that happened five minutes ago or five years ago.”

That’s exactly it…

6) He helps you out with difficult personal challenges

When a guy is your friend with feelings he will want to be there for you whenever possible. 

This includes during difficult personal challenges and crises. 

He doesn’t shrink back from the difficulty and intensity of these situations, because he sees you as an integral part of his life, including in a romantic way. 

This can include loaning you money, sticking up for you in family or work problems and being your shoulder to cry on. 

For guys, it can be hard when they have feelings for someone but are stuck to being “just a friend.”

But if he goes above and beyond what you’d ever expect of a friend in terms of supporting you and being there for you, then it’s likely he hopes you’ll become his girlfriend in the future. 

The way to tell if he wants to be more is either to just ask him or pay attention to his other behavior as well, of the kind I’m listing in this guide. 

7) He recalls details of whatever you tell him

Some friends have better memories than others, but one of the hallmarks of a friend who wants to be more is that he will remember what you tell him in detail. 

These can include small personal details like your favorite color and dessert to more practical things such as where you go to get your car fixed or what places you most want to travel to. 

These are the kind of things a boyfriend pays attention to. 

Because when he cares about you a lot, he also cares a lot about what you like or dislike. 

That’s just the way it goes when you have feelings for someone. 

As Lynn writes:

“Would he remember this stuff when it comes to his guy friends? 

“Probably not, and if he treats you very differently from how he treats his guy friends, it’s because he’s putting you in a different category.”

8) He makes intense eye contact on a frequent basis

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and they’re right. 

They really are. 

Regardless of what your spiritual beliefs may or may not be, the eyes are definitely where we can look to really get a feeling for who someone is and what they’re made of. 

When you fall in love it starts with eye contact. 

And when you feel a strong romantic attraction for someone one of your favorite things to do is just look in their eyes. 

It really is that simple. 

If your friend has the hots for you then he’ll want to look in your eyes as much as possible.

Does he try to hold eye contact when you look away?

What’s the feeling you get when he looks in your eyes?

These are all signs to look out for about trying to discover if he has the hots for you. 

9) Take a quiz to find out

If you’re wondering whether your guy friend has the hots for you there are a number of questions you can ask yourself. 

His overall behavior can be a good clue, as can the things he says or doesn’t say. 

A good way to find out is to take a quiz and find out if he likes you as more than a friend. 

This quiz asks you all sorts of a variety of questions to determine whether your guy friend is fine staying in the friend zone…

Or whether he wants to bust out and get romantic with you. 

10) He treats you differently than other friends

One of the top signs that he likes you as more than a friend is that he treats you differently than he treats his other friends. 

Pay attention to his behavior around his friends. 

Is that how he is around you or is there more sexual tension and seductiveness?

Does he want to spend time with you more than he seems to be want to spend time with his other friends?

What’s his general demeanor around you? 

All of these observations can provide you information about how much his romantic feelings for you are growing, and if such feelings exist in the first place. 

Like Bella Pope writes at Her Interest:

“Guys that don’t admit their feelings are always really frustrating. 

“However, they usually have a good reason for doing so. 

“But if you notice any of the signs above when talking with a guy you know, it could mean he likes you but just won’t admit it.”

11) He laughs at your jokes, even the silly ones

One of the most important signs that your guy friend has the hots for you is whether he laughs at your jokes. 

Now you may be the female version of Jerry Seinfeld, but chances are that if you’re like the rest of us you make plenty of jokes that are cringe. 

But when he likes you, he finds everything you say and do is funny and interesting to him. 

He will laugh at your jokes and find you hilarious even if you’re just a comedic amateur. 

He’ll also enjoy doing his best to make you laugh at cheer you up whenever possible. 

“If he is laughing at your jokes consistently, it may be the case that he finds you intellectually attractive as well,” writes sex therapist Kyle Zrenchik. 

“ The real test is to see if he is laughing at your jokes more than he laughs at others or if he is laughing at your jokes when they are not even that funny,” Zrenchik adds. 

12) He wants to know the core values and beliefs that motivate you 

Friends care about each other’s beliefs and core values, of course. 

But when a guy wants to be more than friends, you’ll notice that his interest goes far beyond average. 

He has a keen fascination with what made you who you are, with what motivates you and with what’s in your soul. 

This deeper interest is on a more romantic than friend level. 

His questions, eye contact and intensity should all clue you in to the possibility that he sees you as more than a friend. 

Pay special attention to questions that he has for you that are on a deeper level:

Questions about your feelings, what formed your beliefs, your most challenging experiences and how they changed you, and so on…

These are the questions of a man in love, not a man who’s just chatting with his gal pal. 

13) He pays attention to your appearance and any style changes

When a guy is just a friend he usually doesn’t focus on your appearance that much. 

Although he’s bound to be nice and compliment you, he may sometimes overlook a new outfit, hairstyle or accessory that you’re trying out. 

But when he has the hots for you then he’s paying close attention to your looks and will take note of style and appearance changes. 

This can be as subtle as him noticing new blush you’re wearing or a unique perfume you’re trying out. 

As Selma June notes:

“Therefore, if you change something about your appearance, i.e. if you have a new dress or you got a new hairstyle be sure that this guy will notice it. 

“If this isn’t a telltale sign of his strong emotions for you, I don’t know what is.”

14) He rarely or never talks about other girls except to express disinterest

When a guy really is “just a friend” then he sticks to it. 

If you ask your only-friends guy friend about girls he’ll be glad to tell you and get your opinion. 

But if you ask your guy friend who wants to be more about his love life then he’s likely to hold back or be uncomfortable talking about it. 

His opinions about girls will tend to be somewhat uninterested or dismissive. 

Because if he has feelings for you he’s just not looking at getting involved with somebody else. 

Most good friends end up talking about sex and relationships, even guy friends. 

But when one or both of you have feelings, then talking about love can be tricky. 

Because deep down you’re both hoping that you could be a couple, so talking about other people you’ve been with or tried dating is sad. 

15) He likes to tease you in a seductive and playful way

When somebody has feelings and is trying to flirt they tend to tease in a specific way. 

It’s basically fun and also suggestive. 

For example, they may joke about how sexy you are and how it’s hard to resist you. 

Or this guy may joke about his own love life in ways that make it obvious he’s single or not happy with what he’s finding on the dating market. 

He wants you to know that he’s still looking. 

He may also playfully tickle you, nuzzle your neck and other behavior. 

If you get the feeling that his play-hugs and neck nuzzles could very easily transition into making out, that’s probably exactly what he’s hoping for…

LovePanky has a good article on this:

“One of the most playful and fun ways to flirt is by teasing! 

“Teasing is a way to connect with another person by allowing them to feel all kinds of emotions around you. 

“It makes both people laugh and grow a little closer together.”

What comes after friendship? 

Friendship can be a wonderful basis for a romantic relationship. Especially if you’ve been friends for a long time, the years of communication and sharing can add up to a lovely life together. 

If you feel the potential for more, it’s worth exploring. 

As Lauren Guilbeault writes:

“At one point or the other, every girl gets to that place where she wonders about a male friend – ‘Does he like me or not?’ 

“No one wants to be left in the dark or spend too much time wondering…

“If you’re shy and haven’t made a move yet, it might be tough to gauge how he feels for sure, but if you have tried your hand at flirting with him and he reciprocates, it’s a sign that he likes you and wants to take things up a notch.”

You can be sure that if he’s showing more than a few of the signs above then he likes you as more than a friend but is biding his time or worried about spoiling the friendship by admitting his feelings. 

Knowing that he has romantic feelings for you can help decode many of his unusual or mysterious behaviors. 

When you know somebody has the hots for you it becomes clear why they’re acting the way they are. 

Wrapping Up

So, does he like you more than a friend?

If the signs point to yes, then congratulations! A wonderful relationship might be in store for your future.

But if you’re still unsure, there is a way to make him see you as someone he wants to be with romantically.

Relationship guru James Bauer has the solution. It’s called the Hero Instinct and if you manage to trigger it in this guy, you’ll have a great shot at making him fall in love with you.

So what is the Hero Instinct?

​​It’s a concept based on a man’s innate drives. It’s about what makes him tick and what he wants so badly that he’s willing to do anything for it.

You see, when a man’s Hero Instinct is triggered, he’ll not only fall in love with you. He’ll also commit to you wholeheartedly and make you the happiest woman on Earth. He’ll do anything for you, and it’ll be because you give him what he needs.

How can you trigger it in your man? 

If you want to learn how then watch James Bauer’s excellent free video here. 

In it, he’ll tell you more about this concept, and also reveal simple texts and phrases that you can use right away.

How do you tell if a guy likes you or just friends?

How do you tell if he wants to be more than friends?

How do you know if a guy Friendzoned you?