465 total quotes
[Dorothy is storming out of the house because she thinks Stan and Blanche are sleeping together]
Rose: Where are you going?
Dorothy: To either get ice-cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.
[Mr. Pfeiffer is trying to set a date for Mrs. Claxton's funeral service]
Mr. Pfeiffer: How about Thursday night?
Rose: Thursday
night?
Blanche: Are you crazy?
Sophia: Not Thursday, hell no!
Mr. Pfeiffer: Sorry, I forgot. The Cosby Show.
[Rose is in denial about Michael and Bridget's affair]
Rose: You know how it is when you can't believe something.
Dorothy: Yes, I can't believe Alan Thicke has a hit series, but that doesn't mean it isn't so.
[Rose is singing The First Noel and as
the rest of the gang joins in....]
Rose: Did I ever tell you about the time....one Christmas, we launched the production of A Christmas Carol with an all-chicken cast.
Dorothy: God, look at the time!
Blanche: Is it that late? I'm so tired.
[Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia exit.]
[Sophia is watching a dirty movie]
Dorothy: Hi, Ma. Whatcha watching?
Sophia: I dunno, one of those
Steven Spielberger movies.
Dorothy: That's not a Steven Spielberg movi-...what are they doing?
Sophia: You know what they're doing. We had that talk when you were 12.
Dorothy: Ma, I can't believe this! You rented a dirty movie?
Sophia: Dirty is in the eye of the beholder. Okay, that's a little dirty.
Dorothy: I cannot watch any more of this.
Rose: [coming in with Blanche] Hi.
[Dorothy is pressing buttons on the
remote]
Sophia: Wrong button. That's fast forward.
Rose: Oh, my.. what are they doing?
Blanche: I know what they're doing, but I never saw anyone do it at that speed.
Rose: It reminds me of my Uncle Ricky's rabbit farm!
[Dorothy presses another button]
Sophia: That's reverse, Dorothy.
Blanche: I did that once. [the others turn to look at her] It was his birthday.
[the
girls are looking in the theater]
Dorothy: I can't see a thing.
Rose: What kind of a movie is this Dorothy?
Patron: [yelling] Rip his throat out!
Dorothy: It's a musical Rose.
[the girls are watching Rose's video]
Rose: That's Sophia walking into the kitchen.
Sophia: I didn't know Fess Parker was in this picture.
Dorothy: Ma, what're you doing?
Sophia: I'm
mugging for the camera.
Dorothy: You're mugging me! You're stealing out of my pocket!
Sophia: I'm checking to make sure you have the exact change for the bus... now I'm stealing.
[The girls discuss the strangeness of psychiatrists' patients]
Sophia: Did you see him? Total fruitcake! We're talking serial murderer!
Rose: Well, if somebody tries to murder cereal, he should see a psychiatrist. [laughs]
Dorothy: Don't talk for the rest of the afternoon.
[The girls enter Blanche's room in the hospital.]
Dorothy: Blanche, honey, how are you?
Patient: [mumbles something incomprehensible because of the bandages covering the mouth]
Rose: Oh, you're probably pretty uncomfortable right now, but in a few days you'll be feeling fine, Blanche.
Patient: [mumbles again]
Sophia: Can we get
you anything?
Patient: [mumbles again, then lifts up the bedclothes...]
Dorothy: Whoa.
Sophia: I think you've got yourself one hell of a lawsuit there, Blanche!
Rose: Was this a last minute decision?
Dorothy: We're very sorry, sir.
[The girls have offered to watch Albert's diner for a little while so he can have some time with his family]
Albert: Can you cook?
Sophia: Are
you black?
Can anyone relate? I’m Going through difficult peri-menopause and this is my favorite line, I like to use it when my husband gets on my nerves and I need to get out of the house, god how I love this show more and more as I get older 💜😂💗
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level 1
I’m rediscovering it…. And while I found it funny years ago- it’s spot on as a “middle aged gal” 🤗🤭😂 edit: it does get better… eventually. I’m sure it does 😉 hang in there… pick the ice cream even tho it might stick around as long as serving time for a felony! Lol
level 2
Thank you dear, I’m hoping it gets better, I will stick to cupcakes cause I’m lactose intolerant now, ugh, thanks peri 😩😂
level 1
Who knows? She wasn't that nice to me when I asked for her autograph back in '89. She farted, and I walked a few steps back, saw everyone's face react to the stench, and left my piece of paper with her. Booked the hell down the mall, ran outside. My parents were waiting for my friend and I outside Sears. I just said "go go! Now! Go! We gotta go!