What we do in the shadows laszlo

Laszlo Cravensworth (Matt Berry) is an English nobleman vampire that was turned by his now-wife Nadja on the FX show What We Do In the Shadows. 

He enjoys making music and topiary sculptures, especially of vulvas. He is able to transform himself into a bat but must shout "Bat!" whenever doing so and can communicate with animals.

Laszlo reveals to the other vampires in one episode that he was Jack the Ripper. He also has an extensive filmography of pornographic movies in which he plays vampire characters.

Laszlo and Nadja are both openly bi. His bisexuality leads to many plot twists and jokes, such as when he and his wife are both trying to hide the Baron, with whom they are both having a secret affair. However, his bisexuality is never a joke, a crisis, or a problem. 

60. "Well, how am I going to eat if I don't prey on people, dummy?"-Nandor

59. Laszlo: "I'm not going to do this if your man's pissing on the wall."/Werewolf: "F**k off, you racist!"

58. Nandor: "We need a plan for total domination."/Nadja: "We can poison the humans' milks with witch's piss."

57. Laszlo: "Good evening!"/Man: "Go back to your own country!"/Laszlo: "What the f**k did you just say?!"

56. "No, Nandor. That’s the StairMaster: the master of the stairs."-Laszlo

55. "One of the best ways to drain people's energy is via the internet." —Colin Robinson

54. "Starting tomorrow, Colin Robinson's new motto is, 'Young, dumb, and full of cum.'"-Colin Robinson

53. "A joke has a punchline. And you wouldn't know a punchline if it ran over your scrotum with a penny-farthing!"-Nadja

52. "Has living in America made you a big wet pussy?"-Nadja

51. "I spent a few of my younger years with Sigmund Freud while he was using cocaine and working on his theory that all neurosis is derived from what he called 'hand envy.' I remember taking a steam bath with the chap and my towel accidentally dropped and he caught sight of my rather generous John Thomas. He shrieked 'Eureka,' and then came up with 'penis envy.' Or what I like to call, 'wanting of the wang.'"-Laszlo

50. "Arise! Arise! What is 'arise' again? Control, alt, seven?"-Nandor

49. "Listen, I don't know about you, but I'm very much in the mood for some sexual intercourse." —Laszlo

48. "All I know is I haven't had a whiff of Wu or Tang!" —Laszlo

47. "We sent ravens. We sent 500 RAVENS! I'm shocked and appalled that you didn't raven us back." —The Guide

46. "Pablo Picasso. More like Pablo Picasshole." —Nadja

45. "She speaks the bullshit." —Laszlo

44. "I was a very ferocious soldier in the Ottoman Empire. Which meant a lot of killing, a lot of pillaging. People would say, 'Please don't pillage me!' And I would say, 'No, I'm pillaging everyone, you included.'" —Nandor

43. "I was relentless. They would call me Nandor the Relentless. Because I would just never relent." —Nandor

42. "If I find I'm in a situation where an idiot is complaining to me, you can either kill them or you can pretend to listen to them." —Nandor

41. "What kind of goat sorcery is this?" —Laszlo

40. "Look at the pictures on the glass! It's the Jeebus man!" —Laszlo

39. "We have total dominion from here to here!" —Laszlo

38. "Gizmo, get the dildos. Gizmo, try out the dildos. Hmm, how are the dildos? They're fine." —Guillermo

37. "Be strong, sweet little one. Someday they will all be dead and you will do a shit on all of their graves." —Nadja

36. "You are supposed to support me when I want to murder someone!" —Nadja

35. The Baron: "You know what I've always wanted to try?" Laszlo: "Coprophilia." Laszlo: "No, pizza pie! Is it as wonderful as they say?" *Turns to Laszlo* "Coprophilia?"

34. "You people are as much fun as the plague. Remember the plague? And how much fun it was? That's this." —The Baron

33. "If I ever find out who did it, I will take a dagger and stab them 5,000 times with this hand! Switch hands. And then stab them another 5,000 times!" —Garrett

32. "We were so poor, we used to use donkey dung for fuel, and when the donkey dung ran out, we would have to burn the donkey." —Nadja

31. Guillermo: "'Laszlo sucks,' backwards." Laszlo: "Laszlo doesn't suck! And if he did, he certainly wouldn't do it backwards!"

30. "She said that my pornos were boring, which is an unbelievable reaction. I showed her a century's worth of my pornos. That's a lot of porn. I don't think she followed the plots." —Laszlo

29. "Do you remember that first time we made love? It was so passionate, I accidentally cut off your head." —Nadja

28. "There is nothing more devastating than finding out your husband has made porn...and it's so bloody boring." —Nadja

27. "Why aren't they wearing capes? Looks like anyone can be a vampire in Mana-hatta!" —Laszlo

26. "You are just a lovely guy that I took very strong sex with a couple hundred thousand times, and then my husband cut your head off. Move on!" —Nadja

25. "It's a big, bloody stupid hat with a big, bloody stupid curse on it, and every time you wear it, something bloody stupid terrible happens!" —Nadja

24. "No, I know what you're bloody like! If you eat the mean one, you're gonna be mean all evening!" —Nadja

23. Nadja: "Have you gone soft, my sweet syrup pie?" Laszlo: "No, my sweet syrup pie, I've gone hard!"

22. "I am just a stupid human man. Oh, ouch, ouch, my balls. I love to drink beer." —Nadja

21. "She used to be such a cute, little fresh-faced girl. But now she just looks like an elephant's knee." —Nadja

20. "Creepy paper. Creepy paper. Creepy-oh! Multipack!" —Nandor

19. "I'll be honest with you. My lookalike is kind of giving me a chub." —Colin

18. "No, no. Nandor, that's the Stairmaster, the master of the stairs." —Laszlo

17. "How are you supposed to be a strong, thrilling, powerful warrior and love with a name like Jeff? It is like a weak ejaculation! Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Jeff." —Nadja

16. "And we are truly sorry, and we are taking this very seriously, and these are our serious faces. Serious. Serious. Serious." —Laszlo

15. "It says I am 100% white." —Colin

14. Colin: "This is science." Nandor: "But this is a turtle."

13. Laszlo: "Where did you get them from?" Guillermo: "Amazon, so..." Laszlo: "Well, then, you get in your car and drive them back to the Amazon!"

12. "I was doing the bloody disco a hundred years before any other f@#$er." —Laszlo

11. "He's as mad as a wax banana." —Laszlo

10. "I talked to Rob. He didn't wanna come. He wants to leave it behind." —Evan the Immortal Princess of the Undead

9. "I have recently rediscovered my love for topiary sculpture: the art of bush manipulation." —Laszlo

8. "One human alcohol beer, please." —Jim the Vampire

7. "It seems that, uh, government workers are immune to hypnotism. It's like their souls are dead or something." —Nandor

6. "You are all such strong, beautiful, vicious, vibrant women. How did you all end up married to such boiled potatoes?" —Nadja

5. "I did apply for my American citizenship back in 1992 for five reasons and five reasons only: Johnson, Jordan, Bird, Barkley, Ewing." —Nandor

4. "These poor women. They take a lovely, handsome chap from the street, make him their husband, and then, in the blinks of an eye, he becomes a big, lazy sack of shit. So sad." —Nadja

3. "Now he's just gone up to a drunk man and he's drunk the drunk man's blood that has made him drunk." —Nandor

2. "We drunk the blood of some people, but the people were on drugs, and now I'm a wizard." —Nandor

1. "F@$king guy!" —Nandor

Do you agree with this list? Were there any quotes we missed? Please let us know in the comments section below!