Questions to ask your spouse during hard times

If you’re looking for a list of questions to ask your spouse to reconnect, then you’re in the right place! 

I’ve been married for 12 years. 

Very happily. 

My hubby and I are high school sweethearts, and even though we got married at the young age of 22, we have managed to grow up together rather than grow apart. 

And, if there’s one thing that we’ve mastered over the last decade of marriage, it’s communication.  We’re both quick to apologize when necessary, and we can each confide in the other. 

Hopes, dreams, worries, insecurities… we talk about it all.  No “How’s the weather?” or “How was your day?”. 

By communicating openly, we’re still learning new things about each other.  And we’re even more in love now than we were 12 years ago. 

Want to keep things new and fresh in your marriage also?  Read on for my list of questions to ask your spouse to reconnect.

First, why is it important to ask the right questions?

Asking the right questions helps you to connect with your spouse on a deeper level.

So many times in marriage, the conversation is fixed on:

• How was work today?
• What’s going on with the kids?
• What do we have to do this weekend?
• What are we having for dinner?

Or worse… maybe you don’t talk at all because you’re not sure what to talk about.

Crickets.

Using this list of questions to ask your spouse will help you learn more about each other, including how you can be a better wife and improve your marriage.

You know what’s also an important part of marriage?! Doing nice things for each other! Get my list of 30 Nice Things to Do for Your Husband HERE!

How to use this list of questions to ask your spouse to reconnect?

When my husband and I first started dating, we would talk on the phone for hours each night.  Literally.  I think our record was 4 consecutive hours of phone conversation.  Granted, we were in high school, and that was kind of the thing to do for young love in the early 2000’s.  By the way, sorry Mom and Dad for any cell phone overages.  🙂

Now, we have meaningful conversations in the shower (yup, that’s one of my cooky pieces of marriage advice) or during our weekly lunch dates.

Pull out this list of questions to ask your spouse on a stay at home date or on a road trip. This list is perfect for when you have quality time alone, and you aren’t likely to be interrupted.

What You SHOULD DO when you use this list of questions

Be supportive.

Some of these questions are tough.  Don’t get into an argument if your spouse doesn’t answer a question the way that you want him to.  That’s not the point of these questions to ask your spouse. 

If you’re not supportive, your husband will probably close off and start giving superficial answers just to make you happy.

Have fun.

Yes, some of the questions are meant to strengthen your relationship and help you learn about your husband’s preferences in your marriage.  But some of them are just FUN.  

Use these questions to reminisce and take a walk down memory lane.  And have fun discovering new things about each other… like what was his favorite Halloween costume as a child?

Put down the cell phones!

Nothing kills a good conversation like a cell phone.

Make sure yours is out of reach when you start these questions to ask your spouse to reconnect.

If you’re focused on your phone, or if you keep picking it up to check if you have any new Facebook notifications, then your husband will feel like he’s not your priority.

And the quality of your conversation will suffer.

In fact, according to sociologist Sherry Turkle,

“Eighty-nine percent of Americans say that during their last social interaction, they took out a phone, and 82 percent said that it deteriorated the conversation they were in. “

Greater Good Magazine

Don’t let your cell phone be a road block to a great conversation with your husband.

What You SHOULD NOT DO when asking your spouse these questions

Get defensive. 

You’re going to talk about things that he doesn’t like about you.  But remember this… he still LOVES you.  Just like I still love my husband dearly even though he pees on the toilet seat and throws the occasional cup of ice cold water on me while I’m in the shower.

Lose focus.

Don’t think about what’s for dinner, or how you can’t wait to turn on the TV later and catch up on The Bachelor. Focus on these questions to ask your husband to reconnect so that you have a more meaningful conversation. Plus, you’ll probably learn lots of helpful things that can improve your marriage like how to make your husband feel more loved.

*Be sure to check out this post for more deep conversation topics: 90 Meaningful Conversation Starters for Couples to Connect

Okay, without further ado, here are 100 Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Reconnect:

1. If you could live one day over and over again for the rest of your life, which day would it be?
2. Of all of the restaurants that we’ve been to together, which is your favorite?
3. What is your biggest fear in life?
4. Were you ever sent to the principal’s office as a kid? If so, why?
5. What is the one thing that I do that drives you the most nuts?
6. If I had to cook one meal for you for the rest of our lives, what would you want it to be?
7. What is the one thing you wish I did differently as a Mom/Dad?
8. What physical feature do you love most about me?
9. What physical feature of yours makes you the most self-conscious?
10. Your t-shirt or lingerie? Which do I look sexiest in? (For Wives)
11. Suit, jeans, or sweats? Which do I look sexiest in? (For Husbands)
12. If you could pick any job in the world to do, what would it be (if $ wasn’t a factor)?
13. Where do you want to be buried when you die? Or where do you want your ashes scattered?
14. What is your favorite cereal?
15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
16. What is the one nightmare you remember from your childhood?
17. What is your all-time favorite song?
18. Movie?
19. If you could trade places with one character from a TV sitcom, who would it be?
20. What is one thing that you wish you could change about yourself?
21. What does your dream day in retirement look like?
22. What is your favorite fair food?
23. Who is your all-time favorite sports team?
24. Favorite fruit?
25. If we could live anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?
26. What is your dream car?
27. What is your most embarrassing moment?
28. Favorite dessert?
29. Favorite pizza restaurant?
30. If you were a stripper, what would your stripper name be?
31. If a genie granted you 3 wishes, what would you wish for?
32. If you had to drink one beverage for the rest of your life, what would it be?
33. What is your biggest regret?
34. Describe yourself in three words.
35. Describe me in three words.
36. What is one present that I’ve given you that you secretly hated?
37. What did you want to be when you were a child?
38. What is your biggest secret?
39. If you were forced to get a tattoo, what would it be?
40. Someone gives you $1,000, what do you do with it?
41. $100,000?
42. $1,000,000?
43. What is your happiest childhood memory?
44. What is your hidden talent?
45. Favorite sexual position? You can’t say “all of them”.
46. One thing that you want to try in the bedroom that we haven’t done yet?
47. Your favorite Halloween costume from childhood?
48. What is one thing that you wish you did better?
49. Favorite subject in school?
50. When do you feel most loved?
51. What would you say is your biggest strength?
52. Biggest weakness?
53. When are you the happiest?
54. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
55. How do I make you a better person?
56. Favorite vegetable?
57. What made you first fall in love with me?
58. If our marriage was a country song, what would the title be?
59. If you could switch places with one person for a day, who would it be and why?
60. If you could have dinner with one person, who would it be and why?
61. Who is your celebrity crush?
62. What show do you wish I would stop watching on TV?
63. What is the #1 thing on your bucket list?
64. Where would you want to go on vacation (if $ wasn’t a factor)?
65. What are the 3 items you would want if you were trapped on a deserted island (no boats/flair guns allowed!)?
66. What is your favorite way for me to style my hair?
67. If you could only keep 5 of your Facebook friends, who would they be?
68. When is the last time you cried and why?
69. What is your favorite movie snack?
70. If you could only use 2 beauty/toiletry products for the rest of your life, what would they be?
71. If we could do one home remodeling project, what would you want to do?
72. If the house was on fire and you could save only 3 things (pets and family members not included), what would you save?
73. If you could choose your own name, what would you choose?
74. If you had to sing karaoke, what song would you choose?
75. What are two things I can do to make you feel more loved?
76. What stresses you out the most?
77. What do you want for us in 5 years?
78. 10 years?
79. 20 years?
80. What is the kindest thing you have ever done for someone?
81. What actor would you want to play you in a movie?
82. What is your favorite part of your body for me to touch?
83. What is one thing you would change about our sex life?
84. Who is your favorite TV character?
85. What is your favorite thing to do on a date?
86. What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
87. Do you have a personal motto that you live by?
88. If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
89. What would happen if one of us dies?
90. What can I do for you to make your life easier?
91. What is your favorite part of the day?
92. What has been your favorite memory of our time together?
93. What was the first concert you ever went to?
94. Who was your favorite teacher in school, and why?
95. What is one thing that you wish you knew how to do?
96. What is the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? Did you like it?
97. What is one household chore that you wish you never had to do again?
98. What is the best dream that you’ve had recently?
99. What is your favorite tradition from your childhood?
100. What do you love most about me?

Whew! You made it through the list!

How was it? Did you learn anything new about your spouse? Wasn’t the conversation much better than “How was your day?”.

Printable List of Questions to Ask Your Spouse

If you want the handy printable version of these Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Reconnect, you can use the form below to sign up for my FREE email newsletter. You’ll get the PDF version of these questions, PLUS the password to my FREEBIES page as a gift!

Conversation Cards for Couples

Want even more questions to ask your spouse on date nights and road trips? Then check out my conversation cards for couples! These cards contain:

• 90 Deep and Meaningful Conversation Topics
• 45 Lighter and Fun Questions to Ask Your Spouse

You can check out these Printable Question Cards HERE!

Want other ways to reconnect with your spouse?! Reconnect and show your husband that you love him with my FREE 30 Day “Deed a Day” Challenge, filled with ideas for Nice Things to Do for Your Husband!

Click HERE for the full list of Nice Things to Do for Your Husband!

Thanks for visiting, and be sure to PIN this page so you can use these questions for your next date night!

And check out some of my other posts on marriage:

• 50 Ways to Show Your Husband Love Based on His Love Language
• 10 of the Best Marriage Tips Ever From Couples Who Have Been Married for More than 10 Years
• 16 Unique Stay at Home Date Ideas on a Budget

What are some deep questions to ask your husband?

What are some hard questions to ask your partner?

What are the 3 tough conversations every couple should have?

How do you strengthen a struggling marriage?